It has been awhile since I used this blog. I concentrated on my other one for my video stuff http://4dbill.com
We have moved to Israel since my last entry. I will be documenting whatever fits my fancy on these pages from now on.

NOT

Being different, sometimes, means NOT doing something – not getting a tattoo, not getting an Iphone, not getting a HDTV, all by choice.

Not being special

Most people in the service industry fail to realize that customers who do the same stupid stuff others have done 10,000 before them think they are special.  We need to take this into consideration before acting irrational, because they have no idea that we have seen it all before.

I f**king hate the Iphone

I joined two couples at a local restaurant.  One of them brought their 5-year old daughter with them, which itself is not a problem.  I did, however, start getting agitated when her father whipped out his latest Iphone and played games with her throughout the entire dinner.  He definitely is not a dumb guy, having a high tech career and all, but he just didn’t have the common sense and courtesy of putting away his f**king phone while in company of others.  He just could not keep his eyes off the bright screen for more than 10 seconds.  It’s an addiction, a bad one, and it’s another form of this society’s downward spiral towards deterioration.  At any give time, a phone should NEVER be more important than the real person/people we are interacting with.

Love is Everything

A friend's Facebook posting: Never, I repeat, NEVER, get married. It's stupid. And when things go to shit, then you won't have the legal garbage to deal with. Just live together. That's commitment enough. The end.
My comment: We can dirt dive the rest of our lives, to be safe. Love, like skydiving, is risky and dangerous, but is everything.

Moving Mountains

Joseph is taking off for Jordan, Israel and Palestine today, to make an impact, to make friends, to let the untouched people know that God is love.  He, along with seven other kids and five adults, will spread out, village to village, with no plan, no food and no money.  They will let the Holy Sprit guide them, hour-by-hour, day-by-day.
Sonnie and Jonathan are going to Northern India on Tuesday with the same mission. She will be pushing all 80 pounds of Jonathan in a stroller, since he is only able to walk short distance.
The believers in the first century had no power over the government.  The only thing they could do was pray.  Eventually, they moved mountains.
We have many more resources, and of course, power of prayer.  There should be nothing we can’t do.

Smartphones

A man was bragging how he had everything stored in his Blackberry (his driver’s license #, bank account #, birthdays, phone #’s, appointments, names, directions, GPS locations, etc.) and how he didn’t have to remember a thing.  Should he be proud?

Almost a third of customers who walk in the store to pay their phone bills, do not know their own phone numbers, month after month, year after year.  Yup, we are definitely getting dumber and dumber while the phones are getting smarter.

Pain

A friend died a few weeks ago.  The heaviness of the heart is somewhat fading, but I keep remembering Paul, a friend who decided to end his own life more than twenty five years ago.

I kept asking myself "why?" back then, and I keep asking the same thing today.  It’s hard to imagine sometimes, but the pain is NECESSARY and it ALWAYS fades.

DRUMSTICK REDEMPTION BBQ

An ad in the Craigslist.org I put out, trying to make a dent.

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DRUMSTICK REDEMPTION BBQ 

It was a long day at work. I was hot, hungry and sore from standing on my feet all day. I just wanted get a quick bucket of chicken and enjoy them with the kids before they hit the sack. I was salivating like the Pavlov'g dog as I watched a KFC employee pile on one thigh piece after another. 
As I was coming out, a homeless man on a trike asked, "Sir, could you spare me a piece of chicken?" Of course, I would have given him one, on any other day, but not at that moment. All I wanted was to get home as fast as possible, get my big butt on a cushy chair, and take a huge bite out of a grilled chicken I read so much about, yet never tasted. Besides, I really didn't feel like getting my hand all greasy reaching way in there. It would mess up the handlebar of my fancy BMW motorcycle -- whatever. 
It was a mistake telling my wife the story as at the table. She, a love of my life for 14 years, said something that was brutally honest. "Honey, that man could have been Jesus." What was I supposed to do after such a powerful statement? Of course, I had INTENTION of giving that man a piece of chicken. Of course, it would have taken me just 15 seconds to do the right thing. Just how much is a drumstick anyway? Money really wasn't an issue. I was simply just lazy and selfish. Whatever the situation was and how much of a hurry I was in, she was not going to let me get away with it! 
That was it. There was no possible way I would hear the end of it until I made effort to do the right thing. I got back on the bike and went back to KFC, with the intent of buying him a whole meal. He was no longer there.
 
Weeks have gone by and I still think of that day. I drive by the restaurant once in awhile, to see if I could spot him -- no luck. I blew an opportunity of being kind when it was thrown in my face. It would have taken just 15 seconds to make a difference. 
It then hit me one day. We were coming home from church on a Sunday morning. I told the wife and the kids that we are going to do something spontaneous. There are a few places in Livermore where the homeless like to hang around. One of the places happens to be only about 40 yards from KFC (see map below). We picked up a family meal bucket and a couple litters of soda from next door. I walked over to the spot and asked whoever was hanging around there if they were hungry. Duh.. I was thinking to myself -- "Do bears sh*t in the woods?" I definitely caught them by surprise. They lit right up and dug right in. I walked away and started crying. Here we were, driving a fancy SUV, where we just spent over $700 on brand new tires recently. Just starting it up would cost more than a piece of chicken. I felt bad. Yea, it was a nice gesture, trying to redeem myself with a $20 bucket, but I really didn't feel that much better. Their stomach would be satisfied for a couple of hours, but then what? They would be at the same spot again, with only an empty bucket, which would eventually fade. But at the same time, it was a start. It was just a small gesture, but heck, it WAS something, which is much better than nothing.

I told the story to my coworker the next day. He was touched and we got talking, and we came up with a plan. Why spend $25 feeding a few, when we can do something bigger and better for a few dollars more. 
"Let's have a BBQ!" he suggested. 
"Yea," I replied, "We can feel a lot more, and let we'll call it The Drumstick Redemption BBQ!" 
So, to make long story short, our first Livermore homeless BBQ will be held.

Date: 7/12/09 
Time: 1 p.m. - 'till everyone is fed 
Place: 20 S L St, Livermore, CA, North parking lot. Just look for KFC and walk about 40-60 yards north.
 
We'll be serving hamburgers with the usual trimmings, hotdogs and soft drinks. If you want to volunteer or donate to the cause, please let us know. If you simply would like a free meal because you are hurting, you are welcome also. We don't know how many people will show up, but we'll be there, grilling as long as it takes. 

Mother's Day 2009

Getting up 4:30 in the morning was not easy. Jonathan jumped out of bed since he had been looking forward to this outing for whole week. He practiced for days, casting down the hallway and honing his skills with Rapala fishing video game.

Joseph was whining because the last trip was full of challenges, being muddy and all. He kept slipping on the way down to the lake and got hand full of thorns when crawling back up. This time would be different, I assured him, since it wasn’t raining. I also gave him a pair of work gloves, thick enough to deter thorns. No matter how much he complained, he really didn’t have any choice of staying home since Sonnie and I wanted everyone to be together, even if it’s only for a couple of hours, since I worked so much lately.

We got there at twilight, with the full moon still hovering over the water hole. It was a good start for a Mother's Day. The weather was immaculate with NO mosquitoes, as in Minnesota. It was a typical perfect California day. The kids got impatient after just 20 minutes of casting. Joseph practiced solving the third layer of the Rubik’s Cube, and Jonathan started throwing rocks in the water.

I caught my first bass almost immediately, with a new Rapala Fat Rap I got on eBay. It then quieted down for 30 minutes or so. Then, suddenly, I got another hit, and so did Sonnie, AT THE SAME TIME! Now, how romantic is that!? We reeled ‘em in together and voila -- double lunkers! I’ll bring worms next time for the kids. They don’t quite have the touch of finesse required to work the lures.

9/11

Jonathan is 9 years old and Joseph is 11. Get it? 9/11. Their bedroom is a chaotic warzone. They drive Sonnie crazy, up the walls.

Interlude

I promised my sister that I would play Frank Mill's "Interlude" on her wedding day. Now my son is old enough to play it. Hopefully, Jan gets married before Joseph pass it on to HIS son.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPgtNU89jn0

Christmas, 2008

Burst of thoughts before falling asleep

Many people believe in heaven and hell. So does Satan.
My mother often told me that I was a Good Egg. What if she never did?
I close my eyes, watch the sounds, then cry, because I remember not being able to hear like this.
I am sitting on a La-Z-Boy my dad spent $600 on refurbishing. I thought he was a fool, but now I understand.
How would you describe speghetti to a stranger if you didn't know his language?
A jet fell out of a sky and crashed on a house. A woman and her son were killed instantly. I'll never say the words, "Someday when.." ever again.

Wall Arch

I read the news that the Wall Arch fell today due to inevitable force of nature – wind and erosion. I don’t exactly know why, but my chest felt heavy, as if a friend died.

I’ve been to Cayonlands Parks twice while I was in college. First trip was with an organized school group, and the second one was a year after, with friends, which I remember more. Five of us stuffed ourselves in Jack’s Buick, fully loaded with five Jansport backpacks and enough supplies for a week.

The drive was long and the cabin felt crowded, but the anticipation of sleeping under the stars without a tent, exposing ourselves to the pure elements excited us, enough for me to ignore the childish jabs by Steve and Dan whenever I started dozing off. Jack drove the whole way without a break, other than for gas. We saw hundreds of mule deer along the road,  with their nocturnal eyes shining like the sparking fireflies at hot humid Minnesota nights.

I remember a particular afternoon in the park. While everybody was off exploring, I studied a piece of blue paper. After a few minutes, I began to see an intricate pattern of paper fiber, meaningfully interweaved in delicate fashion. I was convinced that a person at a paper factory spent hours, if not days, creating that particular pattern, trying to have someone really see it for what it is, having it appreciated. He wanted to communicate to others that it’s special, that extra-ordinary things can be found in an ordinary piece of paper. At that moment, everything made sense – that everyone in the world is struggling to be understood, to be appreciated, to connect and to be connected. It was a turning point in my life. I would never look at another person in the same old manner. I understood that everyone was unique, but we want to belong and be understood. Nothing we do is meaningless. We all want and need to be connected, to love and to be loved. Blue pieces of paper – whenever I look at them, I think of that Spring break of 1987 in Utah. I remember the intense sun during the day and the cold desert night on my face, looking up at the satellite screaming across the sky, dodging between the stars. And of course, I remember the meaningless piece of blue paper, and how it changed me.

My heart is heavy when I look at the picture of the Wall Arch that no longer exists. Perhaps I know that my carefree youth ended a long time ago, or simply know that everything must come to an end, that nothing lasts forever.

Joseph's Surgery

Joseph had a leg surgery a few months ago, with the doctors lengthening some tendons here and there, and cutting a few muscles there and here, hoping that it would make him walk better. A friend asked me how he was doing recently, and here’s how I replied.
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With the combination of spritual healing/guidance and surgery, Joseph is walking much better than before. We no longer have to buy new shoes every 2 weeks. He strolls along like a kid with very stiff muscles, instead of dragging his toes like someone with MS. We are very pleased with the results, and he is improving every day. I LOVE money ALMOST as much as Yong, but I realize that there are many things money simply can not buy, such as our physical and spiritual well being. Money eases our financial burdens but sometimes we get so caught up in it that we forget what is truly important. Just watching Joseph taking each step, heel-toe heel-toe, something you guys never have seen him do, make me realize that I need to remember, to remember that richness comes from within. Yes, I would like to win a $10 million jackpot, but I would give it all away to see Joseph and Jonathan run a marathon with me. Okay, okay.. I would pay my bills first, THEN give it away. :)
A pastor with a medical background, who is well known for healing people in Korea, worked with both Joseph and Jonathan. Joseph would not have improved this much without God’s guidance. Surgery was a small part of the whole process.
One of my employees WAS legally blind. The pastor spent 5 minutes with her, and she can now see without glasses, being able to read books without stopping every few minutes, see stuff she has never seen before at a distance. I would not have believed it until I have seen with my own eyes. Anyway, I don’t mean to sound like a religious fanatic, but there is a lot to be said about the power of spiritual healing. I remember telling Yong that I would do anything if I could hear again with my left ear, after it got traumatized after a 30’ freedive, and how it came back gradually after a couple months of deafness, and how baffled the doctor was, but that’s another story.

Summer, around 1973

My little sister and I are in a train gliding across the peninsula, from Pusan to Inchun, for what seems like a millionth time. I have seen it all before, going back and forth between Mom and Dad for two long years, but the view through the window is always striking – blankets of green rice fields swaying with the wind, clear sky filled with shape shifting cumulus clouds, and villages outlined with straw roof huts. I see innocent naked kids splashing in a shallow creek, laughing and screaming. They stop and look at us, probably thinking how lucky we are to go somewhere they only see in books. I gaze back and imagine myself among them, squishing the cold wet sand between my toes, welcoming the sun as it peeks out of its hiding behind the clouds. I don’t feel alone. I am surrounded by friends. Mom calls my name. Dinner is ready. I feel belonged.
I open my eyes and I am back in the train. I look at my sister who is just six. I don’t know how much she knows or feels. I lost count how many times she and I went cross-country; probably 10 times or so, perhaps more. We are a couple of young kids with bagful of books and a few coins in our pockets. I like to believe that this is our last trip, but I know it isn’t. Mom keeps sending us away and Dad sends us right back. I just wish we could stay at just one place for a while, just one place.
A couple of giants sit across us. Their noses are huge and their faces look like Charles Bronson’s. They say something in English and smile at us. We cautiously smile back, a little afraid but curious. They hand us a couple of small foiled packages decorated with a strange looking peanut man. We hurriedly open the packages and devour the content, since we didn’t eat all day. They are the sweetest peanuts I have ever tasted. We bow to the giants and say thank you. They soothingly say something back in English and float away like angels. I will always remember them. When I grow up, I am going to give little packages of snacks to hungry kids all over.
My sister is sleeping, leaning against me. I wonder if she will ever remember these men. I wonder if she is dreaming of a home.

1995 Lotus Esprit S4S

I am not a materialistic man, but I just love our company car. It's probably one of the kind in the world.

Maui Jim

I don’t know if it’s because I am getting older and wiser, or because I work alone often.
I am either beginning to understand humanity or think I do.
For example, I am thinking about what we value. Christianity teaches us not to love anything so much that you are not willing to give it up. This either makes us very strong or dull.
I love my Maui Jim sunglasses. I can’t imagine being outside in California without them. I didn’t realize how much I loved them until I lost them. Luckily I found a replacement on eBay.
What are you willing to NOT give up, if it could never be replaced again? Living things don’t count.

skip

I showed Joseph how to skip rocks across the Pacific ocean, while the sun painted the sky. He kept falling down, due to his weak legs, but he always got up, trying harder, over and over, until dark. I think I saw one of his rocks skip all the way to Hawaii!

A child's request

"Mom, what shoud I write on the prayer list?" asked Joseph at the beginning of the Sunday morning service.
"Nothing is impossible with God, Joseph. If you could have anything in the whole world, what would you like?"
He thought for a moment, and wrote this.

Boundaries

Mark,
I watched you yesterday, walking towards the new building, holding up your young one with care, with your daughter tagging along on your right. If there exists a picture of a perfect family man, that moment was it.
Thank you for sharing your latest decision concerning work. I hardly know you at the personal level, but having you share something quite private with me made me feel special.
Even though the society might look at your situation in somewhat of a negative light, you have my greatest respect and empathy. Only a few walk away from secure jobs, in the name of personal and family values. I guess most of us get too comfortable sometimes, afraid of changes, fearful of stepping out beyond our boundaries. The only way to grow and to follow our passion is to take a leap sometimes, no matter how scary it might feel.
Sonnie and I took more than a few leaps in our lives, but somehow, God always came through. My heart tells me that I should trust him completely in every situation, but my head tells me otherwise. I need a lot more work to do, in doubting less, and trusting in Him totally.
Mark -- you inspired me to be a better father and a husband. Thanks.

A Stupid Man

An agitated man walks into the store and asks me if we sell any batteries for a keyless entry remote for his car.
"Sorry, we don't, but you can try the Radio Shack about 3 block from here," I sympathized.
"How am I supposed to get there? See.. I am locked out," he replied, swinging his car key from the remote.
Before I even said another word, he disappeared quickly into the night.
When did some of us become so stupid?

My 40th birthday

Dear T-Mobile,
I have two sons, Joseph (6) and Jonathan (4), who are born with an unknown genetic defect that prevents them from walking normally like other kids, but I love them dearly like any other parent. We do as much as we can for them -- everything from therapeutic hot bath to seeing a chiropractor. The best thing for them, however, is good old fashion stretching and exercising. One of my biggest wish in life is to see them run, being able to jog with me on my morning runs. I always wanted a decent treadmill for the whole family, since my mother-in law, who resides with us, also needs to exercise. It would benefit everyone, but we really could not afford it, since a good model retails for over $1000. To make long story short, Wayne (my T-Mobile territory representative) calls me on my birthday, announcing that I have won $1000 in gift certificate. You can probably guess what I purchased shortly afterwards. T-Mobile is wonderful. When Joseph and Jonathan are able to walk normally one of these days, I can tell them the story of my miraculous 40th birthday.

TV addiction

The headlines are plastered with Emmy winners like "Sex in the City" and "Angels in America" and the TV industry is petting itself on the back. The most popular shows are about single women having sex constantly with different men and about gays. Hollywood seems to love anything and everything about sex and homosexuals. The society is getting spoon-fed garbage. Since the society is exposed to crap day after day, it affects us all. How many non-Amish households do not have TV signal fed into their homes? Probably close to zero. I dare to have everyone turn off their TV for a week and take up a book or watch the sunset. People would probably find that impossible. We are all helplessly addicted. Sure, some shows are good, but how many of us have enough discipline to watch only a few hours of "good TV" every week even with Tivo? Probably close to zero as well.

Mendocino stores

We popped in and out of quite a few art galleries, craft stores and jewelry shops. Mendocino probably has more artists per capita than any other towns in the state. Our eyes caught a brightly colored mosaic chair, likely crafted by a local artist. Small blue jugs, with mouths pointing at the stars, were glued sporadically throughout the chair.
“What the..”, Joseph exclaimed. I don’t know where he picked up such expression. It’s a good thing that he doesn’t know the rest of the sentence! As I looked at him through the viewfinder, a realization hit me on how tall he was getting. It didn’t seem that long ago that I carried him like a football on my side.
Jonathan had to get in the game also. Sonnie scooped him up and sat on a matching mosaic bench next to Joseph.
Moments like this doesn’t cost any money, yet I feel so rich, being saturated with their curiosity and laughter, feeling vibrant, colorfully alive, knowing that love is everything.

Ball in the toilet

I knew it was just more than just a large amount of sh*t clogging up the toilet because I plunged it 30 minutes without luck, spraying discolored water everywhere. I tried to use the snake but the it didn't bend sharp enough. I ran out of time, so I called a plumber. It turned out to be a blue ball clogging up the line. Jonathan probably flushed it down, not understanding the consequences of his action. It costed $130, but I try to laugh about it. I suppose such surprises should be expected when raising a couple of active sons, full of imagination and curiousity.

Death of a friend's brother

Have you seen the movie “Fargo”? There is this Asian guy, lonely and deserted, desperate to be understood, yet alone in the sea of people so much different than he. The character was exaggerated, yet right on the money for a typical Asian man in Minnesota. I cringe whenever I see the movie again, because the character reminds so much of who I was before I met Sonnie. See.. I never really had a girlfriend in high school, college and most of my adult life. For almost 30 years, I wanted to cuddle with someone, looking deeply into her eyes, being unconditionally loved for who I was.
Why am I telling you all this? Without really knowing your brother, I have a strong notion that he felt the same way. I don’t know how he died, but his hopelessness probably contributed to his death. I wish he could have known what it is like to swim out of the whirlpool of despair, discovering the pure joy that we are always loved -- by God and by one’s own family, that we are never alone. I just wish that he had a chance to see that the world isn’t always dark, but full of light and hope, bright and warm with joy. The happiest people are those who have had bounced back from the bottom of despair, discovering that everything is beautiful, only if we let it. I am sure you were a caring brother. He just didn’t see, because he didn’t know how to look. Anyway, I am thinking of you, wanting to let you know that I care.

Being my own boss

My helper always calls me "Hey Boss" and somehow I like the sound of that.
Married with no kids, she is not particularly beautiful but seems motivated. She learns things fast and seems to be honest. She also cleans and make phone calls, which I dread doing. I pay her $7/hour to work around 20 hours a week. I throw in little bit of commission here and there if the sales are good.
There will be days when I would like to take off to the ocean with the kids, and have her attend the store by herself. Now.. that is a true happiness of owning your own business. I am not there yet, but soon.

The devil assigned numbers

A pastor and his wife walk in and want to buy two Nextel phones. They are in a hurry so they just tell me to activate two lines and that they would be picking them up the next day. The wife asks me to select good numbers. I reply by saying that I'll try my best, even though I don't have much control over the computerized selection.
I activate two lines shortly after they leave. Nextel computer gives me two "great" numbers. 925-525-6664 and 925-525-6665! I am pretty sure they are not going to be thrilled so I call customer service right afterwards to change them.
Honest -- this happened to me yesterday!

Being 40

40 something is when content people start reaching the state of self actualization. There are different words for the same state by different religion and cultures. Have I reached it? Nah.., but I am getting more content as the years go by.
I guess having a big enough house for all seven of us, including Sen, in the Bay Area definitely helps. Also, not having Chinese or Indian managers hovering over my back constantly relaxes me quite a bit as well.
I also realize that I always felt as though I never have enough money, even though my total asset grows every year.
It hit me the other day, while I was driving on a long stretch of a highway that if I start worrying less about money and start concentrating more on the important stuff, such as serving God, my life would be more meaningful and humble. This idea is nothing new. Our whole church is reading and studying the book "Purpose Driven Life." It's contains common sense stuff we already know, but it reinforces the idea that there is life beyond our short stay on earth, and what we do here should not solely be dictated by what we get out of in our lifetime. We need to think after our earthly death.
On some days, I think all this might be just a brainwash technique used to tame us, yet most of the times I believe there is life after death. I guess it never hurts to live a good Christian life, even if there might be a remote chance that the heaven does not exist. There is nothing wrong with loving God and one another.
Having said that, I struggle with the thought on how WE should live. I criticize some church members (Of course, not right to their faces) for having $2 million+ mansions, driving luxury cars and for sending their kids to private schools, yet being cheap when it comes to putting their share of good fortunes on the offering plate, but who am I to say where the line is when it comes to luxury vs. necessity? Isn't our house with a pool considered to be a luxury compared to 99% of the world population? What about our stainless professional stove? Who but the rich would have something so beyond a basic need? What does all this mean exactly? To be like Jesus, do I need to drop everything and take off to Kenya to help the needy? There has to be a find balance, but how do you find it? I guess the Holy Sprit will guide me. The line is probably different for everybody, but why?
Anyway, I am rambling on. The revenue looks okay May, with 10 days to go. I need to crank it up a little. The boy are nonstop eating machines. Sonnie just spent $300 at Costco the other day, just on food.
I love running my own show, not depending on anybody else, or being bossed around. I always had a dream of retiring somewhere, running my own store for fun, taking off whenever I would like, whenever the fish are biting. It’s not quite like that, but what I am doing now is closer to my retirement dream than working at Novellus. I guess I have to be thankful. The gas price averages around $2.25 around here. Thank God that I no longer have to drive 60 miles a day.
That’s the latest news from 4D Wireless.

Cheap Korean

F**k the stupid cheap Koreans!
A Korean lady walked in here, asking me all kinds of questions. I spent good 15 minutes with her. She then said, "We'll think about it" afterwards. I questioned politely why she was walking away. She said she can get a better deal at Amazon.com, and that she came in here just to gather information and check out the phones.
Boy, I was pissed.. I almost said, "Why don't you suck my c**k" in Korean.
She had full intention of wasting my time, only to buy from somewhere else.
That is unethical, especially at a small store. A bitch like her gives Koreans a bad name.

Anyone can write

Memories fade, and stories change over time. The only way to capture the moment is with pictures and with words. You must practice, practice, practice. ANYBODY can write. We almost always underestimate ourselves in what we are capable of. Remember that everybody is special and has a lot to say. It's just a matter of digging a little deeper. Never ever say that you "can't." Such word should never come out of a person's mouth like yours.

When the Trees Dance

We were on a mission to find the perfect wind, being anxious to see if the new kite would gracefully fly. We tried the nearby mountain first, at highway marker 176, where they launch remote control gliders. The luck was not with us. It was as calm as the day at the ocean when the pelicans could not glide.
“Daddy, can we go to the airport?” Joseph asked, remembering what I said about the openness of the airport encouraging the free flowing wind. It was a nice drive coming down the mountain, with acreage of vineyard surrounding us.
We stopped at the end of the Airport Drive. Again, the wind slept.
“Can I run?” Joseph asked suddenly.
“Of Course!”
I help the kite high as he took off, swinging his legs wide. The kite flew up for exactly five seconds, hovering only inches off the ground.
“That was fun!” Joseph screamed, trying to be heard over the rumbling of an airplane nearby. “Yup, it was Joseph. Indeed it was. Let’s come back when it’s windy, when the trees dance” “Okay, Daddy,” Jonathan suddenly jumped in, “Windy day, when the trees dance!”

Midnight Swim

Sonnie joined me for a naked swim/dip at midnight. It's fantastic being able to share something I enjoy so much, dipping in warm water in a blanket of darkness lit only by the stars, with no noise and distraction. I have no doubt that she'll finally get in shape after years of my whining, since she can swim better and longer than I can.
Joseph is beginning to somewhat breathe between 5-6 strokes, being able to swim longer distance without touching the walls. I promised him a "Super Sonic" GameBoy Advance cartridge if he swims the whole length of the pool, which is 35 feet. That motivated him so much that he almost accomplished such feat last night, after 2 weeks of practice. I have a feeling that I'll be hitting the toy store before the weekend is over. Both Jonathan and Joseph is turning dark chocolate brown since they spend so much time in the water - 3 hours yesterday alone. It's an outstanding exercise for their legs. Nothing could be better. I have no doubt that they'll be able to walk normally eventually, despite what the idiotic doctors say.

No TV

I did not realize how much I was hooked on TV until this weekend when the cable guy disconnected our cable last week. I told them twice in last five years that we've been getting free signals, even though we did not subscribe to cable. They finally caught up with us and disconnected the line while working in the neighborhood. Around the same time, our 31" color TV went out, so we really could not watch anything, even DVDs.
To my surprise, I found myself actually somewhat bored here and there over the weekend. I could not believe it. I thought I was so busy that I didn't have time to be bored. That just tells me how much of my time was spent watching stupid TV shows between activities. It feels funny just sitting on the couch without the TV on, reading the newspaper, surfing the Internet, playing the Memory game with the kids.
We'll eventually replace the broken TV, but we won't subscribe to cable or satellite. I don't think we'll be missing much by not watching it. The kids will continue watching DVDs and grandma can watch Korean dramas on tape. I'll find myself doing other things than being a couch potato.

My Love

One of my sister is a poet. This is one of her Korean poems roughly translated to English.

My Love,
It's okay to have some distance between us.
I did all I could.
Thanks for enjoying the breakfast I made especially for you, even though it was made in haste.
It gives me joy to give you a bit of happiness.
It is raining outside, and I am thinking of you.
I would like to tell the world how much I love you.
I know it is real.
I'll never forget the moments while riding in the car, simply talking and enjoying each other's company.
Oh, In-Man (the guy's name).
I don't know how long our love will last.
It is not without work. It sometimes takes great effort.
Love is without condition, without selfishness.
Our love is pure, like crystal.
Thanks for stopping by, my love.

China Cabinet

Many of our desires and behaviors seem to be based on our perception of what others think.
Let's take a nice display of a china cabinet. Would the homeowner display them if she never have guests? Would she even have them in the first place? Heck, would she even have a formal dining room? Would people collect things if they were on a deserted island?

Death of a Friend's Dog

Alana,
I always thought dogs were dogs and humans and humans and couldn't understand why people have so much emotional attachments to their pets. That is until Sonnie and I had our first dog together shortly after we got married.
He was the cutest golden retriever I have ever seen, dark red with an attitude, tiny enough to stuff him into my jacket when I ran errands. He was a relatively slow learner, taking about a week to learn how to heel and sit properly at an age of just 8 weeks. He slept with us on our bed, warmed our feet during bone chilling Minnesotan nights. We always referred him as our "first son."
Fast forward about 9 months...
He started to limp. We thought perhaps he pulled a muscle chasing after some Canadian geese at the park across the street. It didn't get any better as the time went on, so we brought him to the vet. She said both of his hips were dislocated due to a hip dyplisia, a common occurrence for big dogs with not-so-great family tree. The operation would cost $2000, and he was going to get a lot worse without it. We loved him, but at the same time we had to draw the line somewhere. We asked the vet to put him to sleep. What could we do? We were newlyweds just starting out. I kept telling myself that he was just an animal and it was better this way, but could not stop myself from crying, letting go of a puppy just 9 months old. The vet saw how sad we were, so she said perhaps somebody will adopt him and get the operation done. I knew she was just saying that to make us feel better. Who in the world was going to adopt a dog that needed a $2000 operation?
Fast forward a week..
We get a phone call from the vet. She said somebody DID adopt him and gave him the operation. Even though we were not allowed to see him, we were ecstatic that Sen (the dog's name) was alive and well. It seemed pretty miraculous.
Fast forward 6 months..
A friend of a friend told us a wonderful story of a vet who had a dog that needed to be put to sleep because the owner could not afford an expensive operation. Instead giving him the needle, she operated on him at her expense and gave him to her sister. You guessed it, she was THE vet. What a wonderful story, what a compassion. We later visited her and showed her our gratitude.
I don't know animals have souls like we do, but I know they are full of life, being loved by us. If there is a good place dogs go after death, I am sure yours is there.

Iraq War

It looks like the war is inevitable, and it's sad that it has to come to this.
I wish for days when such senseless act is not necessary, where our intelligence is used for higher purpose than fighting and killing. I suppose that's impossible as long as we have our differences. I wish there is one government for all, just as in Star Trek.
I can somewhat see why some people are locked up in mental institutions, thinking that the world is hopeless.
There always is a light at the end of the tunnel. For some people, it's God. For others, it's something else. I'll pray for those overseas. I hope they come home to their families safely.

Street Lamps

Sonnie and I have a game we play. Whenever we see a street lamp burn out, we tell each other that it's due to our burning love for one another. You would be surprised to see how many actually do go out when you pay attention. I saw one the other morning. I call her immediately and say, "Honey, I just saw one." She knows exactly what I am talking about. That's the thing about being with someone for eight years. We can communicate with just a few words.

Turkeys

I drive by a vineyard with the sun rising through the grapevines, with its ray sparkling off the brand new $2 million homes on the right. The houses don't catch my attention as much as the wild turkeys. I often see them on top of the hill, in no particular hurry, strutting carefree, probably looking for leftover grapes filled with sweet nectar.
I am overcome with peace while I sit at an intersection, waiting for the right turn arrow to turn green. I don't know if others see them since their movements are subtle and they blend in almost perfectly.
Many things are beautiful. I take that back. EVERYTHING is beautiful. We just have to look a little closer.

The Hills

Hundreds of rolling hills reside in Southern Livermore.
They remind me of huge kings' tombs of Korea.
Only the cows and the large transformers occupy the land.
Morning fog trapped in between them makes everything look mythical, as they extend for miles into the mountains.
When it is clear, I can see the lake peeking between the hills.
It looks like a mirage, but I know it's real, because I am going to run there someday, watching the ripples the fish make at dusk.
I have driven by them thousands of times, yet they calm me as I bend around the sharp corners of highway 84.
New houses pop up everywhere every day. I hope they leave the hills alone.

Dear Jonathan

Dear Jonathan,

My heart warms when I think of your smile. I know that God loves us, blessing us with such wonderful child. Your mom had difficult pregnancy, and the doctors told us that you were going to be born 11-13 weeks premature. We prayed everyday for you to hang on a little longer, while your mom was bedridden. You were strong and hung on as long as you could, coming out to see this beautiful world on February 1^st, on the year of the dragon, just like me. Even though you were 7 weeks early, you weighed in at healthy 5 pounds and 11 oz. without complications, and you were as big as most full term babies. You should have seen your mom and me cry. I never thought I could be so overwhelmed with joy.
You are an active child with a deafening cry. Your mom had to sleep with you on the couch many nights, so I could get my sleep. That was quite sweet of her. She stays home full time so she can take care of you and Joseph. Many families in this area simply can’t afford to live without two incomes, but somehow we manage. There is not even a single day I don’t take our situations for granted. God loves us and he always provides for us. It’s probably hard for you to believe that when you read this but it’s one of the fundamental truths about Him. Our lives are short here on earth compare to eternity, but it is a good place if we keep strong faith.
We love you Jonathan, and we’ll always be proud of you.

Mom and Dad

So close to the surface

In my cocky days, I sometimes pushed myself too hard, on a verge of passing out as I came up. I wrote this fictional short story to a diving buddy to remind him and myself that abalone diving can be very dangerous if you get too greedy.
"After executing a perfect pike diving position, you feel you body submerging completely underwater effortlessly. After a few dolphin kicks and clearing your ears, you find yourself 15-20 feet underwater. To stabilize yourself, you grab one of the bull kelp stalks scattered about before hunting for 'hubcaps', round shaped thick abs with meat sticking out everywhere. You see a 9 1/4" ab wedged between two small rocks. After the failed initial attempt, you managed to pop it with some extra effort. Feeling ecstatic, you begin to accent. Something is tugging on your right leg. You look down and see that one of those skinny rope-like seaweed is wrapped around your fin. You try to break loose but it seems to get worse. You kick again with no avail. Panic sets in but you don't want to lose your ab so you kickwith both legs like a madman, using up valuable oxygen. The fin finally comes off. Your lungs are burning like fire. Only 5 feet to the surface.. Suddenly everything goes black. You just experience your first shallow water blackout. Your body begins to descend from wearing too much weight. Coast guard finds your body later in the afternoon. You still have your 25 pound weight belt on, and they had to pry you mouth open to get the snorkel out."

Letter to Joseph

Dear Joseph,

I got this idea by watching the show “Mad About You” the other day, when the parents of the baby decided to write letters to the child for her 18^th birthday. This would be kind of fun, writing to you 17 ½ years in advance. Let’s see… I would be 51 years old and the year would be 2016. I just wonder what things will be like then. I suppose there would be some kind of automatic cars by then. Right now I am commuting about an hour to work each way for just 30 miles. I suppose you don’t have to worry about such trivial things in life. Flying cars would be too far fetched for me to think of at this time but you probably have something close to it. I am a graphic artist creating all kinds of nifty images for a semi-conductor manufacturing machine company called Novellus. By the time you read this, I am sure I’ll be some kind of programmer also. The computer I am using is quite fast for today’s standards. Intel Pentium II 333 mhz chip, 256 megs of RAM, and a standard 21 inch monitor. Technology is changing very rapidly, therefore you probably have something equivalent to a Cray III supercomputer for your watch.
You are the most wonderful baby anybody could ask for. You never cry unless hungry. You are the most popular baby at the church we go to, Tri-Valley Korean Presbyterian Church of Pleasanton. I am a 4^th grader Sunday school teacher and your mother is quite involved with the bible study and the disciple study group. Fortunately, she does not have to work, enabling her to stay home to watch you grow up. You are big for your age and your favorite thing to do is to smile. Whenever you see somebody, that’s the first thing you do, giving them a huge open smile. Everybody loves you. I just hope you end up with longer legs than me. I am 5’ 9”, 205 pounds, and have very short legs. We are going to feed you a lot of protein so you can be more than 6 foot high. My guess is that you’ll be around 6’ 2”, and very handsome.
We are blessed to have such a great baby. We’ll try our best to raise you with good values. I’ll be strict, but with time you’ll understand that it’s the best way to build a solid foundation for life.
Your mother and I love you dearly, Joseph. I’ll write to you at least once a year.